The Beginning

Welcome to my blog! I created this blog a while back with the intentions of posting my paper crafts, but I didn't get too far.

I've decided to start blogging a bit about my life as a new mama, or as our doula called it, "domestic engineer." I have no clue what I'm doing as far as design or anything goes, so I'm winging it here, but I hope you enjoy...

I'll try to keep everyone updated on Miss Greta, the sunshine of my life. In a nutshell, here's a little bit about her:

Greta was born on July 6, 2008, seven weeks early. She was 4 lbs., 12 oz., and she was 18.5 inches long. I had pre-eclampsia and had been on bedrest in the hospital, but my blood pressure skyrocketed, and I had to deliver Greta sooner than we'd expected. The emergency c-section sucked. Having a baby in the NICU sucked. Becoming a mother has brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined.

Wow. All I have to say is that no one ever told me that I'd love her this much. I think I said that to Eric for the first two weeks we had Greta. It's true -- no one could have ever said anything to prepare me for the overwhelming love I have for my daughter.

Greta has since been home for a month. It's been a crash course in baby-raising, but we're having a ball. Stay tuned.


Dear Greta,

Today marks one month since we brought you home. It's been the most fulfilling month of my entire life! I never imagined that someone so small could bring about such big emotions. You make my heart melt a million times a day. Each day I think to myself that I will get used to that feeling, but I haven't yet -- each tomorrow leads me to wanting more of you. I wake up each morning excited to spend my day with you.

As I was driving home last night, there was a country song on the radio called, "I Saw God Today," and in that moment I realized how the title of that song sums up everything you are and everything I feel when I look at your beautiful face.

You truly are a miracle. You were born seven weeks early, and in your two weeks in the NICU, you fought like a champ. You stayed on room air (no supplemental oxygen) the entire time and never required a feeding tube. You were such a trooper the entire time. I left the hospital a little over a week after having you, and it was so hard leaving without you. I knew you were in good hands, yes. But you were a part of me for 8 months, and I felt so incomplete without you.

You came home on July 20. We were so happy to have you home with us but so scared and nervous, too! Daddy and I had no clue as to how to take care of a baby! That first night, I slept with my ear on your bed, listening to every single peep and squeak you made. I watched the clock, waiting for the time to feed you. We'd left the hospital on a strict feeding schedule of every three hours, and I was so nervous about "messing up" and not feeding you on time! At the time, you didn't always wake up when you were hungry. Oh how you've changed in a month. You now let us know when you're hungry, and you've also since discovered your voice. You are my child, for sure -- you love to make sure you're heard.

Life has changed so much since you came along. Our days are now measured in soiled diapers and wet burp cloths. Each day starts off with the feeling of Christmas Day because I get so excited to see you. I look forward to constantly discovering something new about you. Just today, I decided I love to kiss the back of your neck. About a hundred times a day, I have to keep myself from gobbling you up whole. You're just so scrumptious. I cannot get enough of you.

I worried that I wouldn't feel that instant bond with you. I worried about hitting bottom really quickly and being numbed with postpartum depression. The fear from those worries kept me from ever imagining how wonderful you would be and what it would feel like to be so in love. But the truth is, I never could have, in my wildest dreams, imagined how wonderful you would be.

When I was pregnant with you, my prayers consisted of pleas for your health and well-being. And while I still pray for your good health, my prayers now are those of praise. I've never felt so blessed.

I thank God, but I thank you.