Whole

Dear Greta,

Happy half birthday to you! You're now six months old, and some times I feel like it was just yesterday that I first met you, and then some times I feel like I've known your little old soul forever.

Today marks six months since I met you for the first time. It was the day after you were born, after I finally came out of the haze of the c-section drugs. Despite it being the most emotional moment of my entire life, I don't think I cried when I first saw you. I think my mouth just hung open as in, "She's mine? That little beautiful thing is mine?" It was like Christmas when you get a toy that you really really wanted, and you assumed you'd get it, but you never really believed it until you actually got it. Only this -- this -- you -- it's better than any Christmas gift I've ever received.

As I write this letter, I am slightly overwhelmed as I try to remember all your most recent little milestones. I'm kicking myself in the butt for not writing you a 5-month letter, because now, with two months passed, it's hard to recollect two month's of accomplishments. You wouldn't think THAT much has changed in such a short amount of time, but YOU! You are constantly changing!

We began feeding you rice cereal at the end of November, and since that time, you've tried peas, peaches and applesauce. For the record, YOU HATE PEAS.

You're now a little over 14 pounds, and you've got the chunk on your legs to show it. We are so proud of your chub. Goodbye skinny little legs, hello rolls.

You're a happy baby. You don't cry much. From blowing raspberries to squealing like a cat that had its tail stepped on, you're constantly surprising us with new developments. Most recently, you've started to kick your feet when you get really excited, and you like to slap your hands on your belly with glee. You like to hear yourself make noise, and your laughs are priceless. Your smiles win over my heart a thousand times a day. The way you wake up in the happiest of moods, to the extent that Daddy's started a video diary of you waking up in the morning just to capture the cheerfulness.

You've started to gain more interest in playtime, and I love watching you explore your toys with your little hands and mouth. You stare at everything in awe and wonder, constantly reminding me that the simplest of things are often the most interesting and beautiful. You remind me about a lot of things, things that adults can often easily forget. Mainly, that life is about the basics. A nap can fix everything, and a snack can cure the crankiest of moods. That, when in doubt, a little snuggling calms unresolved anxiety. Love always trumps things because a little one-on-one attention feeds the soul more than any fancy toy ever will. Thank you for reminding me.

As time goes by, this thing called motherhood gets less and less daunting. I feel like I understand you more and more each day. I've learned to read your cries and am pretty proud that I can usually tell if you're hungry or bored or tired based on the sound of your cry. I'll brag about this knack now, but, because you're a girl, I know all too well that I won't be able to predict your moods as you grow into a little girl and eventually into a woman. I'm going to enjoy it now.

And enjoy you, I do.

I love you, baby girl.

Mama