Realizations

I feel like I'm liberal in so many ways. And then in others, I feel so conservative, like maybe I just have a big stick up my ass and need to loosen up a little. There's really no rhyme or reason to all the whys of how I feel about certain things. I'm just a quirky girl. And that's just the easiest way to describe me.

I picked up my 15 year-old niece this afternoon, and while we were driving back to my house, there was a song playing on the radio, and she knew every lyric. I turned up the volume on the car stereo, and I asked her if this was Flo Rida, feeling all up-and-with-it for even knowing who Flo Rida was. She was all, no this is Jeremih, and it's called Birthday Sex.

And I just felt old because I couldn't help but think, this is legal to play this on public radio??? I mean, I'm all for freedom of speech, but, really? Really, do they need to broadcast a song that promotes getting screwed on your boyfriend's sofa in lieu of a cake with candles and other birthday gifts? Just for the record, kids, CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH BUTTERCREAM ICING IS WAY BETTER THAN SEX.

Within this same hour, there's two men delivering the decking composite to my house. Unsure of where to have them put the lumber, I called my husband at work. Meanwhile, I'd invited one of the men in to the house because it's 90+ degrees outside, and I didn't want him to wait on my front porch in the sweltering heat. So, there I was, standing at my back sliding glass doors, next to the delivery guy, waiting for my husband to answer the telephone call. We were looking out over the backyard, discussing where to put the decking materials.

And I said, "This air sure feels good up my dress." I was standing directly over the air vent, and while those were in fact my very thoughts, I sure as hell should have kept my mouth shut. How very inappropriate, and how embarassing.

I'm 31 years old and still so often trying to figure out who I am as a person, and the more and more I think I know, I always throw myself for a loop when I do things like these, acting like a prudish slut with multiple personalities.

Or something like that.