When It All Started

Today marked one year since I was admitted to the antepartum unit and placed on hospital bedrest. July 3, 2008. My blood pressure was out of control and my doctors wanted to monitor me and the baby.

I remember going to the ob's office that morning for a routine 33-week appointment. I was really swollen and was sick of going to work and being uncomfortable. At that time, I didn't realize that the reason I felt so crappy was because I had preeclampsia. I secretly hoped that upon examining my tight, swollen skin on my legs and (c)ankles, my doctor would tell me I couldn't return to work. (I hated my job.)

Never did I expect that instead the doctors would insist I go down a floor and be admitted into the hospital. To say the least, it was a stressful time. I didn't cry because, to be honest, I was in shock more than I was in fear. Complete shock. I wasn't supposed to be having a baby until August 18th.

A couple times today as I was busy making decorations for Greta's upcoming first birthday party, I couldn't help but pause and take a few moments to appreciate the many blessings of this past year and realizing the the full circle I'm quickly rounding.

And I cannot help but think that if I would have known then what I could have possibly been losing - this little spunky girl that has become my whole world - there's no doubt in my mind that I would have been uncontrollably devastated and afraid.