How to Piss Off a Pregnant Woman

How to Piss Off a Pregnant Woman:

  • say to her, "Well, I can definitely tell that those pregnancy hormones are kicking in," in response to her expressing any sort of emotion;
  • continuously inqure as to the location of your boxer shorts even though you've been informed that said pregnant woman is no longer on full-time laundry duty;
  • whine about how your feet are sooooo cold from having to walk the house barefoot because all your socks are in the dirty laundry;
  • sigh dramatically (again and again) about having to baby-proof the large television that could possibly fall on resident toddler;
  • refuse to sleep on the new bedding because the duvet consists of flowery fabric;
  • say, "I diagree with what you're saying," and then, seconds later ask, "What are we disagreeing about?";
  • not deeming it a priority or acknowledging the significance of putting up the glass bottles of liquor out of reach from curious, cabinet-latch-breaking baby girl;
  • ask pregnant wife if she's going to clean YOUR bathroom before company comes over;
  • forget that pregnant wife is supposed to be resting and taking it easy even after having situation explained to you repeatedly on multiple occasions;
  • open your mouth (if you are above-described person);
  • breathe her air (if you are above-described person); or
  • look at her wrong (if you are above-described person).
This is just today's list. I'm sure I can come up with another tomorrow.


OCDena said...